Oy! Lockdown is hard - its not an easy feeling to have your freedom taken away from you - loosing your social interactions, long walks in the fresh air, perusing in stores and indulging in coffees and cakes made by someone else. Funny thing is, being a mom on maternity leave and having Tommy work from home these past years, has prepared us for living on top of each other already. We are used to sharing cooking and cleaning duties, or nagging at each other, missing our on mid-week drinks out, or spontaneous late night parties...
But prepared or not, lockdown is hard with two small toddlers; who are finding their own wills and independence, and yet are still totally dependent on Mama and Papa at the same time... who make a mess at every meal, which has meant 21 full-force meals we are cleaning up after each week. Do you feel me?
While I am so grateful to be surrounded by my crew, and be in a position of good health and safety - Tommy and I cannot help to feel a little envy of all our friends who are taking to the internet to share their new-found time for experimenting in the kitchen, becoming Pinterest experts, or digging into that pile of books they've been meaning to read. We sure would love just a day or two of time for ourselves like that...
Fortunately, in the past weeks, there has been a resurgence of instagram accounts by some inspiring mothers whom I look up to - All Our Mothers & foxmeetsbear to name a few. It reminds me that I am not alone in this struggle, entertaining littles ones with the supplies you have at home, finding your patience when gently policing your kids, followed up by re-reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear over and over, all the while trying to tuck the anxiety that you feel about far-away loved ones back to a place you can revisit after the kids go to bed. It's a lot right now. Its OK to feel like its a lot!
Johnna, from foxmeetsbear, left a beautiful quote on her page last week that has sit heavy with me since. Its been the perfect thing to bring into focus and reframe my perspective whenever I feel annoyed with my little ones.
"Remember you are not managing an inconvenience. You are raising a human being." - Kittie Franz
Blah! Yes - of course - I may not be able to control what's happening in the world right now at all, but I can control the love I'm giving these little humans, the fun we can make under our own roof, and making the tiny trips out of the house each day an adventure to look forward to. These are my babes, and there is just one window of time I have with them at this age, and stuck inside or free to explore, I sure want to make the best of it.
Thats mine last week engaging in one of my favorite beachside activities... looking for seashells. Today our big adventure was taking the garbage out between rainfalls. For now Im savoring the last moments of nap time before I'm back in the drivers seat as Mama. Sending love to the rest of you out there working through the same troubles as me right now - and to my own mother who probably wishes more than ever to have her three kids stuck under the same roof with her right now.